The Emotional Healing Process

Or, the answer to: "How can I hold space when I do not have the knowledge of a Trainer?"

When you are a Spaceholder for somebody else's Emotional Healing Process, it is NOT about you. It is not about how well (or not well) you think you are trained, how smart (or stupid) you think you are, how beautiful (or ugly) you think you look, how many distinctions you think you have (or don't have), or how well (or not) you think you can Navigate Space.

When you Hold Space for somebody else's process, it is about the other person's necessity to heal.

Let their necessity lead the process.

If you do not let what they actually need and can sustainably hold in their Matrix lead, then you are trying to force them to heal, manipulate them to heal, or rescue them, which is all Low Drama, driven by your hungry Gremlin. It is not an Emotional Healing Process. Trying to force your Client to heal or transform is not respectful of the person.

Instead, Be With your Client where they are, not where you expect them to be, hope them to be, want them to be, wish them to be, or think that they ought to be.

The Client's authentic Necessity calls in the appropriate intelligence needed to open a healing transformation Space for them, and the Clarity for which actions and distinctions are required to get there. It is all there within one arm's reach.

You are the Spaceholder. You Hold and Navigate Space. Use what is given. That's your job.

The Client goes through the process. It is not your job to go through the process for them.

You cannot go through the process for your Client. Trying to go through the process for your Client creates confusion and frustration for both the Possibilitator and the Client.

You navigate the space of healing in proportion to your Matrix and your Client's Matrix. And that is good enough. Good enough is good enough. Perfectionism is a disease from Modern Culture. Please go through the Emotional Healing Process to heal yourself from it.

The great news is that the people asking you to hold space for them have scanned you and they already 'know' (at an energetic level) that you can provide value for them. Otherwise they would go ask somebody else.

Here are further hints:

• Learn to detect and trust your Client's actual Necessity. Do not let your Box, or your Gremlin, or your Parent Ego State, try to define your Client's Necessity. Ask about and Notice their degree of Necessity. Be with them where they actually are and with what they actually need.
• Your Client can only take the healing step that is at their feet. Your job as the Possibilitator is to help identify and clarify that exact step for them. Confirm to them that they are AT THAT PARTICULAR STEP. Help them take that exact step.
• No one can go through ANY Doorway until they have made ALL the steps that take them from where they originally are to within touching distance of the Doorway. You can be sure that the Client is AT THE DOORWAY when the next step they can take would move them through that Doorway into that next Space.
• Until someone is ACTUALLY AT THE DOORWAY they CANNOT go through the Doorway. (Look around you right now. Find a Doorway that you see over there. Now, go through that Doorway from where you are. Can you do it? No. You cannot do it. No one can do that. You must be AT THE DOORWAY before you can go through the Doorway. This is an exact metaphor showing that any Client only go through a Doorway when they are AT THE DOORWAY! Imagining little mysterious magical-thinking positive-aphorism short-cuts is delusional, causing more harm than good, actually delaying healing or transformation.
• Your job as a Possibilitator is to be so much in contact with your Client that you sense which exact steps are near enough in the Client's general vicinity that it would be possible for them to take a sustainable step towards that Doorway right now. Or, if your Client actually IS at a Doorway, then to accompany your Client in their transformational step through that exact Doorway.
• The consequences of successfully taking a Client farther than their Matrix can sustain is that the Client must then choose between destroying the healing / transformation Process they just experienced with you, or destroying their life. Our experience shows that Clients do not choose to destroy their life. Instead they choose to destroy the healing / transformation Process, simultaneously building up a solid defense against trying such 'dangerous silliness' again, and definitely not recommending such things to their friends.
• Learn to Radically Rely on E.C.C.O. (Earth Coincidence Control Office) that it is not a mistake that you have been put together with your Client now for this Emotional Healing Process, even if there are Voices in your head telling you that your Client's Necessity is greater than you can deliver, or less than your capacity. Simply do the job on your bench as best you can.
• Learn to Radically Rely on the intelligence of your Pearl, your Bright Principles, your Archetypal Lineage, your Initiated Gremlin, the life experiences in the Matrix of your Being, and your Care about your Client.

A Healing or Transformation Space needs to be simultaneously ultra-safe and ultra-dangerous.

The 'safety' comes from the Radical Clarity of the Context of the Space, which Clarity is available to everyone in the Space.

The 'dangerousness' comes from the Unhookability of the Possibilitator. The Possibilitator's Integrity, Unseducibility, utter lack of Power Struggles, Competition, Win-Lose games, Low Drama, superiority, protectionism, arrogance, manipulation, invulnerability, etc. sets the example.

• The Possibilitator gets off it first... navigates to undefendedness first.
• Healing / Transformation is an Unfair Conversation for the Possibilitator. It is fair that it is unfair. This is your job.
• Healing / Transformation takes place in an Extraordinary Space, created and held by the Possibilitator.
• The Possibilitator is on the Path of the Evolution of Consciousness and is ongoingly practicing Trainer Skills.
• Each Process is a Rapid Learning environment.

An Emotional Healing Process is NOT psychoanalysis.

Psychoanalysis has the intention of understanding why a person is the way they are. Understanding happens in the intellectual body, providing very little and very linear Possibility for Healing because emotions are not in the intellectual body. Emotions are in the emotional body!

Understanding can only take someone so far. Any Client talking to you has probably reached the limits of what understanding can do for them. This is why most of your early Single Coaching sessions with a Client will be about learning Inner Navigation, how to differentiate thoughts from feelings, how to distinguish feelings from emotions, how to tell the difference between anger, sadness, fear and joy, and how to Unmixing their Emotions.

Your Client's Box and Gremlin may try over-and-over again to bring them into the domain of intellectualizing. As the Spaceholder, your job will be to keep your Sword of Clarity at their neck and navigate your Client back to the domain of feelings and emotions where Healing and Transformation can actually happen.

If Healing is NOT understanding, then what is it?

Healing is taking on a new shape which the illness or dis-ease can no longer grip.

With a new shape, your Client can then create and experience new results in their Life.

Healing and Transformation chisels new space inside and outside of a Client for them to let go of their identification with Being Wounded, and shift to the identity of Being an Experimenter.

An emotional healing process is NOT catharsis. Catharsis is blowing out, releasing the energy of feelings and emotions, so that they seems gone, out of our body. Catharsis provides no transformation, simply a release. In no less than one hour, the feelings and emotions will have built up back again in your 5-bodies.

Transforming alchemically emotions in Processes for growing up and healing is 'cathectic' rather than 'cathartic'. Cathexis is the process of containing, recycling, re-aiming, and consciously using Emotional Energies, in comparison with Catharsis, which is the process of expressing, expelling, trying to use up and get rid of supposedly negative, excess, or useless

The instructions for Cathexis are, "Hold the energy in. Do not allow your Gremlin to throw it away. Let the energy circulate around in all 5 of your Bodies. Build the Matrix to run this much energy through your Bodies."

What we have found is that Feelings and Emotions are not design errors from Gaia, but rather are precious resources of energy and information needed for fulfilling your Destiny and delivering the services of your Archetypal Lineage to the Village.

Specifically: Feelings are for handling things. Emotions are for healing things.

Through Cathectic Processes you can learn Inner Navigating as part Conscious Feelings.

Then your Emotional Energy can be directed towards healing, Building Matrix, Authentic Adulthood Initiations, and Archetypal Transformations.

An emotional healing process is NOT a Gremlin feeding space.

Therefore, it is not a Low Drama space.

As Possibilitator your Sword Of Clarity is always to hand and directed at the Client's throat to cause Disillusionment. This is the kind of Radically Responsible compassion that does not allow sloppiness of context. You maintain the extraordinary spaces using your Bullshit Detector to detect the actions of their Survival Strategy and the various Parts of their personality that are actually killing them.

Your initiated Gremlin sits attentively at your left side (or the opposite side from your Sword hand) and you have already given him or her the assignment to detect the Client's Gremlin and inform you what it is up to.

Your own Gremlin is your main agent of Underworld Clarity about Hidden Competing Commitments, Hidden Purposes, and Shadow Principles.

An emotional healing process is NOT positive thinking.

Positive Thinking is a strategy of asserting that some beneficial condition is so when it is not so, assuming that your fantasy world will somehow stack-the-cards in favor of your wish coming true is you can believe it long enough and hard enough.

Positive Thinking is a formula for self-deception. Telling yourself over and over that something is true when it is not true takes you farther away from reality rather than bringing you closer to reality.

A Possibilitator realizes that the closer you are bonded into reality, the more your actions automatically change the shape of the Universe.

Keeping close contact with reality requires authentic Integrity, directed Attention, conscious Will, and the self-discipline developed during ruthlessly honest Self Observation, a life of learning, and a life of practice on a Team where Feedback and Coaching are a central part of your Team Context.

Some of your Clients might have fear of Feelings Work because they have adopted a meme that makes them afraid of 'being Re-Traumatized'.

Let us think for a moment about what the term 'being Re-Traumatized' might mean.

Most uninitiated human beings live in a condensed cloud of Incomplete Emotions that use up their energy to suppress and manage. Incomplete Emotions are food for Prejudices, Beliefs, Story Worlds, Assumptions, Conclusions, Expectations, Judgements, Projections, Voices in the mind, and Positionality that affect the quality of one's daily life. In severe incidents, Clients may have had experiences that were so shocking as to cause the above symptoms to the degree that they are diagnosed by the psychological community as so-called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Please read this Mayo Clinic article about PTSD:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355967

Please read this Wikipedia entry about PTSD:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-traumatic_stress_disorder

Notice that in NEITHER information source is it indicated that treatments for PTSD include Distinguishing Feelings and Emotions or Unmixing Emotions or Upgrading Thoughtware About Feelings and Emotions or Emotional Healing Processes or Completing Incomplete Emotions. Modern culture understanding about Feelings and Emotions still originates in the Old Thoughtmap of Feelings.

The concept of 'being Re-Traumatized' can only make sense from the viewpoint of the Old Thoughtmap of Feelings, where feelings and emotions are regarded as 'bad' and are to be avoided.

Neither modern-culture therapists nor modern-culture Clients have upgraded their Standard Human Intelligence Thoughtware with regards to feelings and emotions. From the perspective of the Old Thoughtmap of Feelings, if a treatment for PTSD involves feeling anything, especially to feel an incomplete Emotion - since there is no way to distinguish whether the Client (or therapist) has upgraded their Inner Navigation skills - then the idea of feeling Emotions has the potential to unleash Emotional fears in brain-centered therapists.

Emotional Healing Processes using the Radical Responsibility context of Possibility Management originate in an entirely different framework and have an entirely different effectiveness from the processes of modern-culture's Freudian / Jungian psychotherapeutic context. There is no simple way to compare these two contexts.

What can be said is that after 45 years of Possibility Management's Emotional Healing Process work around the world, the concept of 're-traumatizing' makes no sense and has no basis in our experience.

On the New Thoughtmap of Feelings, when a person consciously feels and applies the intelligence and energy of both Feelings and Emotions in their daily life, this is a sign that they are becoming more Centered, more Present, more Adult, taking back Authority, and coming back to life.

In Possibility Management, Feelings are for handling things. Emotions are for healing things.

If you arrange for someone to Hold Space for you to express huge Low Drama Emotions, nothing will change.

Merely expressing repressed, suppressed, or mixed Emotions is called 'catharsis' - trying to get rid of these bothersome ('bad') emotions.

Doing catharsis wastes the Doorway created by the opportunity of your emotional Reactivity.

Instead of intending to express huge Low Drama Emotions, change your request. Ask for a couple of people to Hold and Navigate the Space of an Emotional Healing Process for you!

Then they will Navigate the intelligence and energy of your Emotions for 'cathexis' - which is to use Emotional intelligence for Transformation.

Ask for an Emotional Healing Process:

• during which something changes.
• during which you see old Decisions or conclusions.
• during which you experience your Hidden Purposes at work with its 'benefits' and real costs .
• during which you see the Story Worlds you have been living inside of.
• during which you identify the source of the Unblasted Voices in your mind.
• during which you can make new boundaries.
• during which you discover how Contaminated your Adult Ego State is and begin your Decontamination.
• during which you see your Gremlin payoffs.
• during which you can Shift Identity to a different self-experience.
• during which you can relocate your Point Of Origin to a different source of clarity and power.
• during which you can do a Self Surgery.
• during which you can remove a Block.
• during which you can reconnect to a part of yourself that you had previously lost or banished.
• during which you can make and keep a Pirate Agreement to Practice or Learn or complete your project.
• during which you can gain the energy to make new Experiments.
• etc.

Here are 3 STEPS to set up a safely-dangerous space for your Client to go through their Process.

NOTE: These 3 STEPS are the same whether you are working offline and in person in your house or office with your Client, or working online with a Client and a Coach who are spread anywhere in the world.

REVOLUTIONARY BREAKTHROUGH: It is a revolutionary discovery that any Circle of people (such as ) can make it their custom that at any time, any member can call upon any two other members to Hold and Navigate an Emotional Healing Process for them. The purpose of this website is to support you to have the courage to do this with each other in your Circles. Valuable sustainable change truly happens in a consistent series of baby-step Emotional Healing Processes as creative Collaboration.

STEP 1. Before the Process starts, go to First Position. Make sure that you - as the Spaceholder - have your Center, Grounding Cord , and Personal Bubble of Space. Use your Possibility Stone to Minimize your NOW, and to Shift Your Identity to: "I am a Possibilitator." (... or Experimenter, or Riftwalker, or Edgeworker, or 3 Phase Healer, or Possibility Coach, or Possibility Mediator, or Possibility Psychologist, or Memetic Engineer, or Transformational Circle Alchemist, or Feelings Practitioner, or Possibility Trainer). Make sure your Possibilitator Toolbelt with your 13 Energetic Tools is strapped firmly to your waist, that your Gremlin is sitting attentively at your left side ready to inform you about your Client's Gremlin, and your Sword Of Clarity is in your right hand pointed at the throat of your Client to distinguish if their offers are Fair or Unfair (their offers will be Unfair...). Make an energetic connection from your Being through your Box, through their Box, into their Being. This is a Being-to-Being connection. For healing to happen, you need to find some way to Love your Client. Have your Purpose Sniffer activated, your Low Drama Detector turned on, and your Feelings Detector at the ready.

STEP 2. Click your Clicker one more time and Declare into existence your energetic Work Space - a golden cube that embraces both you and your Client (even if they are located on the other side of the Earth during an online coaching). Call your Bright Principles one-by-one into your work space (by saying them out loud or in your head and bringing them in with your Conscious Will). If you haven't distilled your Bright Principles yet, you can call in the Bright Principles of Possibility Management, which are: Love, Possibility, Clarity and Healing - for example. It can be perfect to tell your Client which Bright Principles you have called into this Process Space.

STEP 3. Ask the magic question: "What can I do for you?" then become an empty space of Listening. This question knocks on the door of their authentic Necessity. Stay in attentive connection with the necessity of their Being during the whole process.

Transformation and Healing (which here, I consider them similar) happens only if there is a Liquid State. Even with a Liquid State, it is not guaranteed that Healing will take place. And without Liquid State, it is guaranteed that no Healing will take place.

When you Client enters a Liquid State, they will feel something: Anger, Sadness, Fear or Joy or a Mixed Emotions. Navigates towards feelings and emotions. This requires that you (and ideally your Client) are on the New Map of Feelings where feelings are a neutral source of information and energy and where Feelings are different from Emotions.

Feelings are for handling things. Emotions are for healing things.

Most of what your Client will feel are Emotions - which is a great news because they are the Doorways for healing!

If your Client is not familiar with the Map of 4 Feelings (and the Old and New Map of Feelings), then your Emotional Healing Process starts there.

Give them clarity and experiences to upgrade their thoughtware.

Then let them know that this Emotional Healing Process depends on them actually feel something. There are 4 Feelings: Anger, Sadness, Fear and Joy; and there are Mixed Emotions: Revenge, Shame, Guilt, Resentment, Jealousy, ...

Give their Feelings and Emotions a Space of extraordinary Clarity in which to be expressed and to be heard. Demonstrate how to excellently respect, listen to, and apply their Feelings and Emotions.

Your Client will provide you all the Golden Keys you need to navigate the process, you don't have to come up with them. Golden Keys are the way out of the prison of their emotions. Your Client have locked themselves up in a prison of which the bars are made of their Stories entangled with their Emotions.

Your job is to pay attention for Golden Key and use them. Their two main ways to use Golden Keys: one is by using a Completion Loop, completing the communication, the other is to ask question to navigate to the source of the prison.

Example 1:

Client: "It is not okay for me to be angry".

That's a major Golden Key. They just revealed to you that they are stuck in a prison of not being able to feel angry, which means that over their lives, they have let themselves be abused, their boundaries be crossed, they cannot say what they want or don't want, they cannot be themselves, etc..

Spaceholder: "It is not okay for you to be angry." (Using the Golden Key with a Completion Loop).

Client: "Yes."

Spaceholder: "It is not okay for you to be angry because...?"

In the context of Possibility Management, Healing is not an end in itself. Healing is an essential component of the path of creating and managing more and more Possibility.

Healing is not the only component of that path, Adulthood and Archetypal Initiatory Processes are another; as well as Being An Experimenter, a Life of Practice, a Life of Learning, and many more dimensions.

Emotional healing processes in the context of Possibility Management are Possibility Making Processes. You can start the process by asking: 'What can I do for you?' or 'What Possibility do your need today?' These are High-Drama offers.

In indigenous cultures, healing and initiatory processes were traditionally delivered by the village shamans and the village initiators.

Modern culture long ago forbade authentic adulthood initiatory processes, and moved healing into the jurisdiction of university-trained medical doctors and pharmaceutical corporations.

In next cultures - that is, archearchal cultures - healing and initiation have had to re-originate themselves to emerge out of the context of radical responsibility and the context of archetypally initiated adult women creatively collaborating with archetypally initiated adult men.

This is absolutely NOT a throwback to the healing and initiations as contexted in indigenous cultures. This is a leap into new cultural territory that has never before existed on planet Earth. We can be very clear about this.

In indigenous healing, the great shaman comes to town, does his shamanic thing on the patients, and then leaves. The patient gives his or her authority over to the shaman, hoping to be returned to health.

In archearchal healing, the Client calls upon the Possibilitator or the Feelings Practitioner and begins their 3 Phase Healing journey. The Possibilitator creates and navigates an extraordinary space in which they empower the Client to take back enough Authority do the healing process on themselves. Afterwards, the Client often has increased their Possibilitator skills enough that they can then provide the same healing process for other Clients. The Possibilitator has the intention to Replace Themselves, that is, to empower as many new Possibilitators as possible. Archearchy is built out of circular gameworlds where resources are abundant and there is always more room for taking responsibility at the center.

In indigenous initiation, the initiators extract the initiate's Point Of Origin (or 'assemblage point' in Carlos Castaneda terminology) from the context of their mother and anchored into the traditions and ancestors of the village culture. This way the newly initiated 'adult' already knows how to plant the crops, weave the cloth, cook the food, build the house, sing the songs, give birth, and die. The initiate gives their authority to the traditions of the village culture. Such initiations function when the culture is noble and environmental conditions are stable. Neither of these is true in the 21st Century.

In archearchal initiation, the initiators empower each initiate to extract their own Point Of Origin from the context of their mother and father, and anchor it into their own center thus being radically responsible for creating their own lives.

For example, let's say your Client discovered by following their emotions back to their source that they have been carrying an old decision they made when they were three to five 5 years old such as: "I cannot trust others because they will betray me."

One Healing Possibility is to offer your Client to make a new decision.

You might have the idea to offer to your client to make a new decision, such as, "I trust others."

From our experience, we've notice that making an opposite new decision does not work.

It does not work because it is too linear to counteract the old decision and only lands in the mind as a concept that can easily be forgotten. The Box and Survival Strategy is too strong and defended to be changed with positive thinking. Positive thinking is linear. Positive thinking happens in the mind.

Effective new decisions are non-linear and land in all 5-bodies.

A workable New Decision for the Old Decision example above could be: "I trust MYSELF to take care of myself around other people."

Shift Identity.

Give it a name.

To prepare your Client to shift Space out of your extraordinarily safe and clear Process Space to return to the unknown context of the Space of their ordinary lives, recommend that your Client create a re-entry buffer zone in time and space and context-shift for themselves. These details can help:

1. You did super. Thank you for your courage to trust us and to do this Process with us.
2. Some Processes are crystal clear. Some leave us feeling a little murky. Don't worry about whichever this Process was. This is how it goes.
3. This Emotional Healing Process was probably bigger than you might suspect.
4. Please give yourself free space to let the perturbations and reordering integrate.
5. Please drink double or triple the amount of fresh water you normally drink.
6. Please rest. Take naps. Take a long hot shower or bath.
7. Make some privacy for yourself. Take it easy. Try not to jump back into your daily busyness.
8. Take time off (from a few hours up to a day or two) to be in the natural world rather than in your ordinary life.
9. Walk around in nature for an hour or so.
10. Let nature nurture your newly expanded or reconfigured Being.
11. Do not make any major decisions about your life or career right away. Let things settle first.
12. DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL ME (US) if you have any questions or want to check-in about anything.
13. PLEASE GIVE US A COUPLE OF MINUTES OF FEEDBACK AND COACHING to improve our Spaceholding and Space Navigating for Emotional Healing Processes: What worked for you today? What would you have me (us) change to make it work even better for you? (NOTE: This is a time for Possibilitators to ONLY LISTEN. It is NOT a discussion time, even if you do not understand what the Client says. Simply write down in your Beep! Book what your Client tells you, then say, "Thank you!"
14. Please stay in touch to let us know how it goes, okay?
15. If this is an offline Process, a hug, lifting, or holding might be in order. In next culture - archearchy - everyone knows that human beings need about five good long hugs to stay healthy.

NOTE: This website is a Bubble in the Bubble Map of the free-to-play, massively-multiplayer, online-and-offline, thoughtware-upgrade, matrix-building, personal-transformation, adventure-game called StartOver.xyz. It is a doorway to experiments that upgrade your thoughtware so you can relocate your point of origin and create more possibility. Your knowledge is what you think about. Your thoughtware is what you use to think with. When you change your thoughtware, you go through a liquid state as your mind reorganizes itself. Liquid states can bring up transformational feelings and emotions. By upgrading your thoughtware you build matrix to hold more consciousness and leave behind a low drama life of reactivity. No one can upgrade your thoughtware for you. More interestingly, no one can stop you from upgrading your thoughtware. Our theory is that when we collectively build 1,000,000 new Matrix Points we will change the morphogenetic field of the human race for the better. Please choose responsibly to read this website. Reading this whole website is worth 1 Matrix Point. Doing any of the experiments earns you additional Matrix Points. Please use Matrix Code PROCESSx.00 to log your Matrix Point for reading this website on StartOver.xyz. Thank you for playing full out!